Submitted by u1153206 on meta
Types of unhelpful perfectionistic thoughts
Challenge
Fear of Failure
  • I must do things perfectly
  • I must not fail
  • I can’t have others think poorly of me
  • If I try, then I will only fail
  • If I put my work out there, then others will think badly of me

Alternative thoughts:

  • Not being perfect doesn’t mean being a failure
  • Trying my best is reasonable – in some areas I’ll do well, and in others I’ll do less well
  • It’s OK to do things well rather than ‘perfectly’
black white cube inside head
Shoulds, musts, and all-or-nothing thinking
  • I must make sure that every room in my house is always spotlessly clean
  • I must always complete my work quickly or my boss will think I am incompetent
  • If I eat anything at all before noon, it’s proof I have no willpower
  • I can’t eat any chocolate or I might lose all control and binge


Alternative thoughts:

  • It’s good to try hard, but you have to be adaptable
  • If I don’t achieve something completely, it’s OK 
eye
Constant checking
  • I must check my reports over and over to make sure there are no errors
  • I have to go over conversations in my mind to make sure I didn’t say anything wrong
  • I have to look in the mirror every time I pass one, to make sure my make-up and hair are OK


Alternative thoughts:

  • It’s good to check that things are OK, but checking once should be enough
  • It’s not the end of the world if something is not 100% right 
Think
Self control
  • I won’t let myself relax because if I do, I may become lazy
  • I can never go out and have fun because I can’t take time off from my studies
  • I won’t let myself have a treat because I haven’t worked hard enough for it


Alternative thoughts:

  • If I work hard, I deserve to rest and to treat myself, even if I haven’t finished all my tasks 
  • It’s OK to relax occasionally and it doesn’t mean I’m lazy
  • Being in control is about making choices that are good for me, not about limiting my choices
catastrophising
Simplicity, structure and control
  • I must be certain of what will happen
  • I should be prepared for the worst
  • I can’t stand not knowing the outcome
  • If I take action, then something bad will happen
  • I am better off not doing anything, than risk it going bad


Alternative thoughts:

  • Prepare for a variety of possible consequences but be open and flexible
  • Take calculated risks 
Climb
Setting even more demanding standards
  • I had the goal of dieting till I got to 55 kg, but now I’ve got there it doesn’t seem hard
    enough and I need to push myself further
  • I had a goal of 90% on my test, and now that I got 90% I need to get 95% next time
  • I got promoted last year and I must get promoted again this year


Alternative thoughts:

  • Setting achievable, appropriate goals is healthy
  • Reaching a goal is a sign of success and deserves a pat on the back
  • Identify the situation
  • Identify the feelings
  • Identify your thoughts
  • Recognize unhelpful thinking patterns
  • Fact check your thoughts
  • Identify alternative thoughts page
  • Identify new emotions page
  • Complete
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Thought record for perfectionistic thoughts

Use the thought record below to notice and challenge any unhelpful thoughts you might be having related to perfectionism.

Write down a situation or memory that’s made you feel particularly down or anxious, or where you haven't quite met an expectation you had for yourself.

e.g. I missed soccer practice this afternoon

List

Behavioural experiments for perfectionism


Below are some examples of perfectionism thoughts, behaviours, and behavioural experiements to try.

 

Belief: I will fail on any ‘healthy eating plan’ because there’s always a party or a dinner to go to and I’ll overeat.

Perfectionism behaviour: Delaying starting a ‘healthy eating plan’.

Behavioural experiment: Develop a healthy eating plan which allows for exceptions such as parties.

 

Belief: If I let other students work on parts of the assignment, instead of doing it all myself, they'll do a terrible job and we won't get a good mark.

Perfectionism behaviour: Taking on the entire assignment because I don't trust the other students.

Behavioural experiment: Delegate tasks to other group members, build in enough time to check through everyone's work together to see if it is done well. 

 

Use the boxes below to write down your own perfectionism behaviours and behavioural experiments you can try.

Belief/PredictionPerfectionism BehaviourBehavioural Experiment
 
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